Pictures and Info- three weeks home

Well, its hard to believe its been three weeks since we are home!  We've had good days and bad this week.  When I think back to our time in China, and the blog post where I said I can't believe how much of a baby he still is, I realize just how far Kai has come!  To think that at first he was afraid to sit in the little rocker, now I'm lucky if he's just sitting in it!  The babyish toys he was first afraid of and then enamored with have now been discarded for bigger better things, like my IPad:)

Kai has gotten pretty good at telling us what he wants, he still doesn't say  many English words but he is definitely understanding a lot more!  We discovered that he loves pictures, I've been trying to work on his life book when he naps but I feel like my attempts are juvenile at best and very hurried.  As you can see from the picture below he enjoys looking at it anyway!

We had a very small family party to welcome Kai last weekend, he had a blast, he just ran and ran and ran.  The hit of the night was the balloons, he took them home and played with them for days!

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I also think back to how Kai used to be in the tub.  Sitting in one spot afraid to move a muscle or get water in his eyes.  NOW, Reuben is in charge of bathes at night and it gets pretty wild in there.  Loud odd noises come from the bathroom and water is splashed everywhere,  he is a fish now days and dumps cup after cup of water over his face!

 Kai is slowly starting to let a few people hold him now for a few minutes, I'm glad he is still standoffish around others, to me it's a good sign that he is bonding to us the way he should!

Kai's relationship with Reuben has improved so much it's unbelievable,  I did get to go away by myself the one night and he did really well, he only cried for a little while and then he was completely fine!  Reuben also took him somewhere in the truck with out me the other night, no complaints from Kai!  It used to be he would have been screaming before they even got to the truck!

The other day Kai wanted to go outside, I put his coat on and off he went all the way to the back fence with me at the door.  He was just gabbering away at the dogs as fast as he could! ha  When we first where home he wouldn't even let his feet touch the ground outside!  Big progress, Big...

Here is Kai in his spot doing his favorite thing ever, playing with momma's IPad, notice Adam sleeping so sweetly right next to him!  Adam and Andrew are doing quite well with Kai, Kai can really tell them off!!  It makes me smile when he gabbers at them and they just look at him like "huh?"  Well we have a busy week next week with Christmas and going back up to Akron Children's.  I can't believe next week is my last week before I go back to work!  I've not given it hardly any thought and I need to start asap, we will be starting to bring Reuben's mom back as she will be babysitting.  Well Kai has had enough of me being on the computer soooooo.........

Two Weeks home

Hard to believe we've been home for two weeks, the first week was the longest of my life.  But the second has gone fast.  We are doing ok, we've had a visit from our social worker, and been to the adoption clinic at Akron Children's.  We didn't find too much out at the doctor, at least about his leg.  She pretty much didn't say anything other than you need to see a pediatric orthopedic surgeon.  She did say that on a regular child growth scale Kai is in the 3rd percentile. yikes. However on a Chinese scale he is about in the 50th.  He is however fairly proportioned as far as his height and weight.  She did want him to gain some weight though.  We have to go back next week for a ton of labs and vaccinations because he wasn't on our insurance yet.  That will not be fun:(  The social worker was pleased with Kai's progress and it was so good to talk to her.  We just have a long way to go.
   As far as progress with Kai, I'm happy to say he has not had any crying in his sleep for two or three nights now!  HOWEVER, he is getting way too smart.  He has picked up on that I sneak out at times while he is sleeping, like at nap time, after I put him to bed, before he is awake or during the night to go to the bathroom etc.  He is NOT happy about it and has become a very light sleeper.  The other night it took me forever just to go to the bathroom in the night and then I just woke Reuben up to hold him while he screamed. ugh.  This morning instead of his usual scared cry when he woke up I walked in to him hitting our bed and throwing a tantrum because I wasn't in bed! HA!  He is getting somewhat braver as far as walking instead of being carried but he still wants carried a LOT.  I try to carry him if its not excessive or almost obsessive but I do make him walk quite a bit.  The other day he walked into Nature's with me just holding his hand!  It felt AWESOME!  He is getting a lot better with Reuben,  at the social workers recommendation I am going to have a night to myself tonight!  Well a couple hours at least.  Reuben will plan on doing nothing but holding him while I'm gone as he will probably scream the whole time, it's scary for me because I don't want to traumatize him but it has to be done, we expect him to regress but he will be ok.
  He really is a good boy he has just had so many changes.  He can play so nice, and seems very smart, he likes things just so.  He is the silliest little boy, he loves music and stickers, he still loves his dishes, and is starting to be a little more interested in books.  He is quite the little imitator,  the other day he was pretending to put makeup on:) He also was pretending to lick envelopes, he doesn't miss anything!  I'm truly hoping that each week is significantly easier than the one before, for us and for him.  The time for me to go back to work is drawing nearer and nearer, it scares me because he is far from ready in my opinion.  keep us in your prayers!    

one week home

It's hard to believe it's only been a week since we've been home!  I have to say, I would not want to live this week over again but we survived!  Kai seems to really like our house and isn't really scared of any room or thing in it.  He loves all his toys but to BaBa's dismay his favorite toy would have to be his play dishes/tea set! ha  I love it.  He loves containers of any sort.  Also anything with buttons that he can push that make noise.  He is so busy playing sometimes in the evening when we are both home it just makes me smile, he's really working hard:)  He loves things in a row.  He is continuing to surprise us with things he does that he did not do in China, he will bring us our shoes if we say bye-bye, and always the right ones.  He will put on his own shoes for the most part.  He just is getting better at getting his point across.  You can tell we've spent a lot of time in airports because he takes his play golf bag and takes the clubs out and pulls it behind him like a suitcase and says Bye-bye and leaves the room for a little.  cracks me up.  He is just pure silliness.  He however is very strong willed and has thrown quite a few tantrums and will even hit us sometimes.  Night time is not the greatest as he cries in his sleep a lot.  He has separation anxiety so bad when it comes to me I can't even shut the bathroom door part way even if Reuben is home or he has a total breakdown and sits on my lap for an hour afterword.  I worry about going back to work in a little over 3 weeks.  I just can't imagine but I have no choice.  I will be praying about that subject many hours I'm sure.  Tonight when Reuben came home from work Kai ran( and I mean ran) to the door yelling BaBa and flew into his arms.  That is a far cry from earlier this week when he wouldn't even acknowledge him and cried when he tried to hold him.  We started making a point that when Reuben comes home he takes over as much of caring for Kai as he will allow, getting his food and helping him eat, giving him his bath etc.  It has really helped but like I said we have a long way to go!  I'm sorry to say that if I wouldn't have seen someone else wish my husband a happy birthday on Facebook I totally would have forgotten, I felt SO BAD!  How could I!  My world is just so upside down right now.  As far as our dogs go and getting used to Kai, our yorkie Adam, who is 12, has actually done very well!  Surprised the heck out of us!  He had some anxiety too in the beginning and barked all night for the first night and then had to get into bed with us because he just wouldn't quit. I'm happy to say we now have a toddler bed, a huge dog cage, a queen size bed and two night stands in a bedroom roughly the size of a postage stamp.  Talk about closterphobia!  But I'm just glad he is in his own bed.  I'm sorry to say however that we have not brought our Schnauzer home from my Mom's.  We are hoping that Reuben's brother and his wife will take him.  This makes me sad beyond words as he is my baby boy and has always been so special to me, he is the definition of sweetness with one exception, he does not like kids and has a history of biting them.  My hands are more than full with a senior citizen, halfways psycho yorkie and a brand new two year old to handle a dog who is very jealous and could be dangerous.  Well I could bore you all with every detail but I won't:)  PLEASE continue praying for our family and bonding/ attachment process.  Just like any other relationship it takes work!

Home and recovering

Well we are home and I apologize for taking so long to post,  for some reason with the time change we have been sleeping until 10 or 10:30 every morning which is very unlike me.  It makes for very short days.  Actually I seem to have very little sense of day, time or reality.  I am happy to say that other than sleeping in too long I have had little trouble with the time change coming back.  Kai is doing pretty well too, Reuben has not been so lucky.
    I am still struggling to come up with a routine that will work for us now as well as when I go back to work, there is just tons and tons of adjusting to be done on all of our parts.  Kai continues to be very adamant about following me everywhere I go, I mean literally.  Being in the same room with me is not good enough, he is actually right behind me and even up against me at times.  Unfortunately he gets bumped into a lot and even got his eye poked accidentally the other day.  Its very trying for me and even more so for Reuben,  he wants one on one time with Kai too and its hard to get right now.  As far as sleeping arrangements it's Kai and I in our bed and Reuben on the couch,  if I get up Kai mostly knows and will scream and cry instantly.  Today I am moving his toddler bed into our room beside the bed and we will try it, Reuben needs to sleep in his own bed, I think that will help his sleeping problems.  And then there is Adam, our old yorkie dog.  He does pretty good accept in the early morning hours, he barks and barks and won't stop until I let him out and into the bed with us, he did good today and actually stayed in bed with Kai for a few minutes after I got up!  Our friends and family really went over and above to make our lives easier coming back and to make us feel special.  We had food to last us through the first several days as well as snacks too, they decorated our house for Christmas, and of course my lovely parents kept our dogs and still have Drew.  I just don't trust him with kids and need a little while before we add him to the mix yet too.  WE have gotten so many gifts, they are all so great.  Kai hasn't met a toy he doesn't like, other than the ones he was initially scared of but now loves!  He is getting braver in some ways, the other day he ran all the way from the kitchen to his room and got his shoes and brought them back, he also was playing like crazy last night and crawled all the way behind the couch twice, very adventurous for him!  At first he was even afraid to sit in his little rocking chair, not anymore!  The language barrier continues to be an issue.  The other day I took a Zyrtec and he cried and plopped on the floor on his bottom because I wouldn't give him one too.  I couldn't explain to him it was medicine.  The same thing happened with a cough drop.  WE are realizing that food is a bigger deal to him than we initially thought and I'm trying to just feed, feed,feed him.  He loves broccoli noodle soup, noodle casserole, cooked carrots, and of course rice.  He does not like peas, applesauce, grands biscuits, sour cream, or sliced cheese.  He is probably gooing through rice withdrawl by now.  I'm hoping maybe a better diet will help his skin clear up and his hair get a little thicker.  Well I better attempt to get something done today!  More later:)

how it's going...ahhhh!

We've had an interesting couple of days.   Yesterday we went sightseeing a little bit with our guide which was really nice because we are going stir crazy big time in our hotel room.  We went to an arts museum in this huge old building that was originally a family school or something like that and a lot of artist display and sell their stuff there.  It was very neat.  It continued to rain all day yesterday and today again so I'm not having the bast hair days ever.  I'm pretty sure it's rained almost non-stop everyday we were in China except for maybe 2-3 day.  It really puts a damper on going out and doing stuff.  We also did some other shopping and got back to the hotel maybe 1 o'clock.  Reuben and I where both wishing our guide would have kept us longer as we did not feel like sitting in the room all afternoon and evening but she didn't.  Last night we ventured out to a Mexican restaurant and it was probably the best dining experience we've had yet.  The waitresses spoke pretty good English and actually didn't stand by our table and watch us eat.  The food was pretty good but not very authentic, my burrito tasted just like pizza, ha.  Kai really liked his burrito and french fries.  This morning we had to get up very early for our consulate appointment and that went very well.  12 families were there with us.  After the appointment the driver took us to Shamian island for just like an hour or so and we did a little shopping.  He couldn't wait any longer than that and we didn't trust trying to get a cab so we came back.  Next time we would definitely stay on the island verses here at the Garden, much more quiet with little shops and restaurants. Way less intimidating.  I'm pretty sure one of the shop keepers there called me a fat in a round about way since she said I must like to eat. ugh!  She did call Reuben fat outright.  Nice.
              So that has been our last two days other than being lazy in the hotel room.  Kai has definitely changed since our first few days together, wow.  We are not used to nor were we prepared for the crazy man he is.  I daily/hourly  pray for patience but still sometimes feel like I don't have any.  He is testing us big time, we aren't real sure how to handle him at times to tell you the truth, this is all as new to us as it is to him.  we talked to a lady at the consulate who is adopting a little girl like a month younger than Kai and she looked as weary as we are and said she is having the same problems with naughtiness as we are.  that made us feel a lot better that we re not alone.  It probably is his age for the most part.  I'm very surprised how much more of a "baby" he is then I expected and I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean literally like a baby. He needs to be rocked to sleep for the most part and just seems a lot younger than almost three.  He is starting to understand some English words, come, go get Daddy, stop, pee pee, night night, bye bye, puppy, baby etc.  Unfortunately he doesn't seem to understand "no" lol. No, he knows what it means he just doesn't believe in it I guess.
                       Tomorrow afternoon at four we are hoppng on a van bound for Hong Kong, a three and a half hour drive.  We are then staying at a hotel that is attached to the airport there and flying out at like eleven in the morning on a 13 hour flight bound for Chicago!  I'm gonna kiss the ground there and maybe the first American I see!  We then have a four hour layover and we will have to battle customs and immigration.  We then fly from Chicago to Columbus and have 2 hour drive home!  We are gonna be so beat and then we will have jet lag all over again and have a 2 year old with his sleep all messed up.  yikes.  Well, Maybe one more post before we leave but that depends on if Kai thinks it's a good idea for me to be on the computer or not:) 

One week

Today one week ago we met our little Kai!  It's hard to believe it's only been a week.  Saturday was a pretty rough day for all of us,  it seems like Kai was just terribly sad and maybe even mad at us and he really let it all out.  Yesterday, Sunday was a great day, he was happy all day, slept great the last two nights and at nap time.  No nightmares, no crying in his sleep, no uncontrollable thrashing and heal kicks to our eyeballs.  I know we probably have more of those bad days ahead but I think we are making progress.  He is a typical two year old in every sense of the word, even though he will be three in two months.  Breakfast time is getting increasingly like naughty time:)  He is all hands and grabs at anything in his reach and is so distracted.  We are dealing.  We borrowed a stroller from the hotel and it is the best thing ever invented, seriously I'm in love with strollers.  At first Kai did not like it at all, he was terrified not to be held and especially since he is out in front of us.  I'm happy to say after our visit to the zoo he now loves the stroller, he never fusses when we put him in and thinks it's great fun!  The zoo was nice, we saw lions, tigers, monkeys, pandas,elephants,giraffes, and lots of other misc animals.  It was pretty small and a lot crappier looking than our zoo's but still nice. Last night we got McDonalds for dinner and stayed in.  Kai is a lover of french fries and not burgers, he isn't really good at biting things off like sandwiches.  I sometimes wonder if he can chew properly or not but I don't know what is normal for his age, sometimes he just chews and chews and eventually spits the food out or kinda gags.   Not really that much to say about yesterday and today other that.  We are pretty much free today other than getting Kai's TB test read.  We are sorta bored because it has been so rainy and we have to walk everywhere we go, also Kai's 24 month swimming trunks don't even come close to staying up so swimming is kinda out.  Well someone is getting sleepy so I better go:)

Guanzhou and Grieving

              I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving!  Ours was ok.  Yesterday, Friday, we left our Hotel about 1:30pm and went sightseeing for a while.  We then went to pick up our laundry and the laundry people where laughing and pretty much making fun of us.  Our guide said they probably never had one person bring in so much laundry.  Really?  It was one garbage bag full so pretty much a good sized laundry basket for about a week for three people including a very messy two year old who gets car sick.  It kinda ticked me off actually, don't Chinese people wash thier clothes?  Duh.
   Soaway we go to the Hangzhou Airport about 4:30 5:00 pm and got through security and decided to eat atthe only restaurant close o our terminal, we ordered chicken mushroom rice for Kai and two ham sandwiches for us,  our bill was nearly $40!  They brought us this weird box this with different compartments, one had bock choy in broth, one had white rice, one had chicken, and one had cubed up veggies.  They then brought one of the sandwiches that was very fancy like a tea sandwiches.  I started feed Kai and realized the chicken was literally nothing but broth bones and grissle.  I got maybe 4 bites out of it for him.I fed him the veggies and rice. Ruben ate the first ham sandwich, we soon realized there was no second sandwich coming and I was the one who was so starved so I ate some of the white rice with a little broth and about a tablespoon of peanuts they put on there.  I was not happy!  Our flight was one of those deals where we had to ride in a shuttle out onto the tarmack and walk up the steps outside to board the plane, it was cold and windy and rainy and getting late for us.  We were so tired and ready to get to the hotel!  Kai fell asleep just as we were landing.  I had been carrying him almost all day and my arms, abs and back were on fire again, by the time we were checking in there was a couple of times almost thought I would drop him simply because my muscles were giving out.  I hurt so bad in the night I could hardly even roll over!  The good news is our hotel is GORGEOUS!  It is absolutely like nothing I've ever seen before,  our suite is huge, very ultra modern with glass and mirrors everywhere.  Not very 2 year old proof but oh well we are loving having a seperate living room and bedroom.  more homey.  This morning we had to go get Kai's medical exam done and oh my what a mad house!  I n ever thought I would see so many white couples with Chinese babies in one spot!  80 of us to be exact,  it was very warm in there and children where crying.  Kai of course wanted held again but my body says no way, I just couldn't physically stand and hold him today so I tried to always sit and have Reuben wait in line,  We got through that and Kai was so Brave!  He didn't cry once not even during the TB test!  Well he did cry once but that was because he wanted me and not related to the med exam.  We ran to the supermarket again after that to get some more diapers water and milk.  then back to the hotel for a little paperwork and then a nap.  This is where the fun started.
      The last couple days Kai has started to be a real Momma baby,  He had a few melt downs when I wen to the bathroom and left him with Reuben and follows me everywhere.  I rocked him to sleep when we got back and lay down beside him.  He absolutely thrashes and violently kicks in his sleep and kinda whines and it eventually leads to flat our wailing.  We are not sure what to do for him when he does this,  It seems the more you rub his back or try to touch him the worse it gets.  I started just picking him up for just a few minutes and laying him back down.  Today was the worst episode yet.  I think the trip and the new room and the medical exam was all to much for him and he was very very sad today.  Just cried and cried and wanted to be held.  We felt so sorry for him probably thinking about all his little friends and caregivers.  Maybe even his bed.  I know one thing there is no WAY the three of us are going to fit in a queen size bed when we get home.  The little guy is gonna have to be in his own bed asap.  So we felt rally bad because we think Kai got too hungry this afternoon.  We are used to just eating when we are hungry and we need to make a better effort at three square meals for Kai instead of two and snacks.  After he got his belly full or oranges, granola bar and room service rice he is back to his usual chipper self.  In fact he is WOUND UP~!  He has a new love for walnut creek cheese fugde and m&m's.  We also think his knee on his bad leg was hurting him.  He kept pulling up his pant leg and rubbing his knee and tearing up so I gave him some tylenol and that might've made a difference too.  BTW I never did mention that Kai is TINY.  I brought 24 mos, 2T, and 3T clothes and everything is pretty much too big.  I'd say he could wear 18 mos in some things which really surprises me!  18 mos and almost 3???  wow.   Well that's it for today, tomorrow I think we are going to the zoo unless the weather is bad:)  ps:  sorry for the bad spelling/typing  i'm too tired to fight this thing tonight