Christmas 2013

Well we had a good Christmas.  Kai still wasn't 100% but he felt well enough with Advil that he still enjoyed the day.  He is one blessed little boy, he got so many great gifts, and he has a birthday coming next month. I'm not one to really push the Santa thing and we don't go overboard trying to convince him of anything, as we want Christmas to be about Jesus' birth, but I have to say, seeing the wonder in his eyes when he came out of his room to see a huge thing in the middle of the living room covered with a blanket was amazingly  awesome(train table) Pictures aren't the best since getting Kai to hold still was a little challenging:) Hopefully everyone had a great Christmas too!

What a mess we had to clean up!

Our table decor

Favorite toy award goes to the train table from Santa

His very own vacume cleaner that is now stored right next to Mommy's

Kai not feeling well on Christmas:(

Grandma Smith, Mom, and Viola

Drew getting some love from Grandma Smith

opening his accordion from Great Grandma Swartz



A new Bike from Great Grandma Smith!

One Year with Kai!

     I have been waiting to write this blog post for a very long time, a whole year to be exact!  There is just this sense of " we made it" about hitting the one year anniversary of becoming parents.  In truth do you ever really "make it"?  I think you are never done parenting or learning or working on your marriage or your relationship with Jesus or any other thing in life but I will allow myself this one small victory of making it one year as a mom. And wow has it been a year to remember!  There have been many happy moments, tons of firsts, lots of tears, and all of them add up to memories.  After a whole year of looking forward to this post I'm finding myself wondering what to write, what pictures y'all would want to see.  
      So I'll just start by saying Kai is SO different than he was a year ago!  He is so secure with his life and for the most part just seems happy happy happy.  He is comfortable being naughty(oh yes he is), he is comfortable getting out of bed(oh yes he is), he is just comfortable period.  He is very much a follower.  It actually concerns me quite a bit.   He loves kids and would follow a group of them right off the side of a cliff no questions asked!  He really would, he looks to others to show him how to act, very scary.  Something to work on. He is obsessed with Dora, for real he is.  He is obsessed with electronics, anything with a screen and buttons.  One of his favorite things to say is " Kai look phone?"  He still loves to sing twinkle twinkle little star and the ABC song.  Other favorites are The Ants Go Marching, You Are My Sunshine, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, This Little Light of Mine and the list goes on and on.  He would let me sing to him 24/7 and he still likes to be rocked but does go to sleep in his bed by himself.  His favorite food are chicken, shrimp, noodles, chips, smarties, cupcakes, yogurt, bananas, clementines, fresh pineapple, and popcorn.  Other saying Kai is famous for " Doin?"( meaning what are you doing) "Mommy", "Kai see em", "check it out", "Mommy", "whew!", "Dooroo stop!"( meaning Drew stop!) " Mommy". Do you see a pattern there? HA.  Kai goes to preschool a half a day a week and LOVES it!  He also enjoys Sunday School too.  He is our social butterfly but can pretend to be shy from time to time.  He talks to everyone and is very offended if he says Hi to someone and they don't answer(even the gas man).  I heard a shocking story about Kai on school picture day through a third party( Thanks Ruth).  He is an extrovert but this was completely out of character for him as he is verbally very outgoing but not physically, as in he doesn't let strangers pick him up or hug random people etc.  So anyway I get a message on Face book that on school picture day when it was Kai's turn to go in and get his picture taken he marched into the room with no fear, said "Hi Martha!" (photographer's name) and went straight up to her, grabbed her face and kissed her straight on the mouth!   He never met her before in his life! Oy vay am I in trouble. 
      Kai is very excited about Christmas this year and so am I.  I was in total zombie mode last year and didn't even really enjoy it.  So in other news for the coming year, we are planning on building a house in the late spring.  Oh I am so excited!  I like my little house but its  just that, little.  We need some room to put things and not feel so on top of each other.  We will have two bathrooms, central air, a nice new basement and an open concept that will make me not feel like some kind of outcast when I'm working in the kitchen. So you can tell what I'm looking forward to the most!  We will also be in the East Holmes school district and Kai will get to go to Berlin Elementary and that's where I went.  That was our biggest goal. 
     We are also hoping to start on adoption #2 as soon as we move into our new house and get settled. Is that taboo to say that we are planning to start another adoption?  I know most people don't say anything until they are under way but hey, I don't care.  My life is an open book and I'm too excited to keep my mouth shut! lol  Lots of things could change between now and then but that is what we are hoping for.  We still haven't decided what type of adoption we are being led to do this time, we switch back and forth almost daily between domestic and China Special Needs.  Time will tell!
   Well here are a few pictures of little man, I'd be lying if I said the last year was easy and that it was always fun but all I can say is that it was worth it! Because this little guy calls me Mommy! (a lot)

Mommy's Big helper folding laundry

sitting on a bucket drinking water

Wearing Daddy's slippers

10 Months with Kai

Yes it really has been ten months...

watching the parade at the Harvest Festival in Berlin

Kai's photography skills

I thought I would catch every one up on what our boy is up to, and into...
He is an  amateur photographer!  I think some kind of real kids camera is on the Christmas wish list this year, and yes after you see some of his work I know you all will be wanting to book him for your family portraits! LOL He loves to take our pictures and the stupider the face and pose you do the more he giggles!

Selfie with a photo bomb by Aunt Linda:

Wow, just wow. Kai  is rocking this photo shoot

 We had a good time taking Kai to his first parade, you just never know how a child will react to a parade and I was a tad nervous, no need to be!  Once the trucks and trailers and floats and even the princesses started coming he was in heaven!  Then when the candy started being tossed his way it was really on!

Big fun at the Harvest Festival

enjoying a week night walk with Grandma and Bryan

peanuts and candy corn for breakfast ( I know Mother of the year right?)

  But what is Kai into besides photography?  Anything with wheels, trucks, cars, trailers, motorcycles, tractors, and even motor homes!  His favorite toys right now are match box cars.  He loves riding bike and getting a ride on anything anyone is willing to give him a ride on.  He loves Sunday school and Pre-school and has seemingly adjusted quite well.  He also has really started to enjoy books which thrills us since we are both readers. Kai is also the proud owner or a red cape with a big K on the back of it, he is now "super Kai!" to the rescue!  It's seriously so cute:)  The other day we went on a walk and I got too warm so I tied my jacket around my waist, his eyes got huge and he said" AHHH super Mommy!" ummm definitely not but so funny it reminded him of a cape:)  He can still tell people off with the best of them that's for sure.  Another nickname of his is " His Royal Kai-ness"  He wants things his way and he will let you know if you do something wrong.  He was dedicated last Sunday night at church and he proceeded to tell the audience off all the way down the steps from the stage to our seats for being "too loud!" with their applause.  I was quite embarrassed and I hope no one could hear him:/  He may end up being a hair dresser like his Mommy.  He fixes my hair all the time and pretends to do hair cuts, also he gets very upset if anyone touches his hair if it has gel in it! 
Kai is also really into helping me with anything I will let him help with, he likes to clean the toilet, dry or wash dishes, put the clean silver wear away from the dishwasher and fold wash rags stack them in a neat pile and go put them away. 
  Kai unfortunately still does not sleep through the night on a regular basis, every once in a while he will.  We have literally tried everything we can think of and tried to think of everything under the sun that could be causing this trouble.  We have tried more blankets, less blankets, jammies on, jammies off, nightlight, no nightlight, door open, door closed, slathering his body and pillow in lavender oil, lavender oil in his bath water, one of those light up pillow pet thingies, fan on, fan off, telling him his bed is a big boy bed, a super hero bed, bed time snack, no bed time snack, and just flat out telling him not to get up! lol  My latest idea was glow-in -the-dark stars and moon for his ceiling( his other facination is with the sun, moon, and stars)  To no avail.  He doesn't wake up crying, or appear scared.  He isn't sick, he isn't at all potty trained at night so it isn't a bathroom issue.  I used to ask him what was wrong and he didn't answer at all but we think it is just simply an ongoing ploy to wriggle his way into our bed, he simply wakes up and is alone so he comes in our room.  We usually just take him potty, change his diaper, and hold him for a little while while he clings to us like a spider monkey and then put him back to bed.  We have thought about cutting out nap time but he just simply cannot do with out one, he is too tired during the day.  so if any of you Mommy's or Adoption experts have any advise other than co-sleeping(which we did for a while in the beginning but are not willing to go back to) please let me know!  his other sleeping issue is that he is a regular little creeper:)  He literally scares me half to death because he will sneak out of his room sometimes right at daybreak when I am getting  ready for work and sit in the gray dim light coming in the windows and hid under  the dining room table or sit in a corner and I will (having no idea he is up) catch a glimpse of his wide eyed face out of the corner of my eye and scream my head off. LOL  I told Reuben it's no wonder I'm so jumpy at night it's like having a creepy ghost child wandering our house!  It makes it a little less weird since I finally did get out of him why he wanders into strange places like under the table, he says he is a puppy.  Yep, he barks, he pants, and he licks our faces from time to time.  We try not to encourage or make a big deal out of it when he starts the puppy business we just calmly say "your not a puppy your a boy".  It seems to be helping but when he is not sure how to act he will just be a puppy, nice coping mechanism, maybe I should try it in socially awkward situations:) or not...  We can't believe it's been almost a year since Kai's been ours, it really fells good these days but I know we still have a long way to go!  Sorry for my rambling:)

Summer 2013

Great Grandma Swartz feeding Kai Ice cream

 This has been an eventful summer for our family.  Lots of fun times, but times of sorrow too.  I'm not a fan of change, and it's seems like we are in a season of our lives where God is making some big changes. As I look back on my life so far I can see a definite trend going on, any time there has been a big change( job change, moving, adding a child, death in the family, etc) I have struggled and struggled and gone through a major period of stress and or depression.   About nine months ago we got the biggest change of all and that was the arrival of our little Kai.  It was a big change for the better but it didn't come with out it's struggles.  The good part about struggling is it is the refiners fire, God molding us and shaping us into what he wants us to be through life experience, pain and trials.

Playing a game with Daddy in St Louis

 We've also lost our precious dog Adam.  He was waaay more than a dog to us, he was son. He was there with us through our entire marriage, comforted me while my arms where empty, and provided lots of entertainment.  Knowing he was happy and content and healthy was part of what made everything ok in world for me.  Our grief was and is absolutely crushing.  Kai misses him too and still asks for him.  Adam is in Heaven, happy and not sick anymore. ( Kai's words)


Holmes County Fair

Leaving the fair with a smile on his face:)

Pony ride at the circus earlier this summer

My Grandma and Grandpa in the photo booth

I couldn't do a blog post without doing a little tribute to my Grandpa who passed away last week.  I still can't believe it.  There was so many things I hadn't asked him yet, great-grandchildren he had yet to meet. Places he and Grandma had yet to visit, winters in Florida he was going to have.  The list goes on.  But Jesus called him home in his own perfect timing and I will understand some day.  Our family can never and will never be the same.  I'm worried about my Grandma, she likes change even less than I do, and her and Grandpa where hardly ever apart.  Prayers for her in the days, weeks and months to come. 


Drew loving some Grandpa time!

  The thing about this summer is through all the bad time and big changes came fun, and lots of it.  We went to a circus, went swimming with friends, went on a trip to St. Louis for a wedding where we went to a water park and the Zoo.  We also had plenty of time with family which makes everything more fun!  Reuben Kai and I have enjoyed good health all summer, and I never forget what a blessing that is.  Kai also has made huge strides for the better this summer, we feel that he is forming deep bonds with us and is so happy with life.  He threw his first fit when I left him at the babysitter which to most parents is not a happy thing and it wasn't for me either but inside I was smiling and thanking God because that is a great sign that he is bonding well.  He wanted me not because he was scared or insecure, he's been there many times.  He wanted me because I'm his Mommy, and he loves me!  We don't know what God has in store for us, what comes next?  Job change? Move? Another child? How? Where? When?  We truly have no idea what is next and usually that drives me nuts, I'm a planner, and organizer.  But for once in my life, I don't care, I trust God, and I'm excited to see what's next.  I know he will be by our sides no matter what.  Whom shall we fear? 

Leg Doctor...

Today we finally went to Akron Childrens to the Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon.  We where curious, scared, nervous and excited all at once to see what the doctor had to say.  Just as a refresher I guess I should remind everyone why we needed to see such a doctor.  Kai's left tibia( large lower leg bone)  is roughly 6-7cm shorter than his right.  Due to this he also suffers from conditions called equinous and pes varus which really means his foot is permanently sort of on its tippy toes and his foot is slightly turned in.  We both had ideas about what the doctor might say but at the same time we really had no clue.  The doctor looked him over, watched him walk and then run, had him kick and took x-rays.
When all that was done he sat us down and told us that if a person has to have this condition, Kai has the best case scenario!  He said that he does not recommend doing anything right now because Kai functions so well just the way he is.  A shoe lift would probably just be in his way.  The leg difference will not affect his hips or back in any way at this time and he said possibly  at the age of six to seven he would consider doing a leg lengthening procedure.  For now we will go back once a year for x-rays to measure how the difference between the legs is doing. Is it getting larger or smaller or staying the same.  
Needless to say once again we are thrilled!  The doctor was so pleased with the way he has overcome this disability and after seeing him run called him "the bullet". LOL  I feel like a thousand pounds is lifted off my shoulders and I'm ready to just enjoy the fourth and the upcoming Raber camping weekend!  We also are busy thinking about where to take our vacation to this year.  I know I know we just went to China for two weeks for goodness sakes!  Well that most definitely was NOT a vacation! HA  Anyone have any suggestions for a place that is kid and adult friendly, not crazy expensive and where there is enough to do for a whole week without getting bored?  If so please let me know!  Hopefully you all have a great weekend too and see all you Rabers soon:)

Baby Pictures!

We came across something very special!  Or I should say Reuben did. I don't quite understand how he did it but somehow he found out about an organization called Love Without Boundaries.  They go into orphanages and provide assistance.  Apparently if you send in a request and let them know what orphanage your child was in and what dates, they will send you any pictures they may have, if they have any from there.  So they sent us a file from Enmei in 2012, 2011, and 2010.  Low and behold there is no denying that in the pictures from the fall of 2010 is our KAI!  We feel so truly blessed to have something so random, so rare, and so touching as baby pictures of our son!  Apparently the organization had donated the little outfits the babies are wearing and took pictures of them wearing them.  It really makes me realize that with all those babies there really is no way Kai could have gotten the care and attention babies need at that age, it makes me sad, it makes me want to pick him up and squeeze him a little tighter, it helps me to understand his insecurities a little better, and just makes me feel somehow closer to him and feel like I got a tiny glimpse into his past.  He is doing OK, struggling at times, crying every night right now.  But we are making progress, one step back but two steps forward!  Just remember him, and us when you say your prayers.  I so want him to heal from what he had to go through in his early life and forget every bad thing and fear he every had to face alone!

Kai is in the back left

second baby down from the top

baby on the left
probably 8-11 months old

6 months forever...growing up

watching TV this way??  I didn't ask:)

 Actually it's been a little more than six months since we've been home but I'm just now getting to this post:/  Things have been going pretty well at our house.  We are enjoying the warmer weather, well we were at least until yesterday.  Summer is looking to be a blast with our crazy 3 year old.  He has been changing so much lately, and all for the better!  Gone is the shy, scared, emotionally fragile little boy.  He has been replaced with an outgoing, silly, funny, smart, helpful,  BIG boy who has an undeniable zest for life and can't seem to quit smiling!  He greets nearly everyone we pass in a store or wherever we are with a hearty " HI HOW ARE YOU!"  He is also best friends with his cousins Marcus and Matthew, I'm pretty sure they are his hero's. LOL They come down to Grandma's house every day to play with Kai when he is there.  He loves every member of his family though, his Uncle Travis and Aunt Jamie are also favorites:)

Helping Mommy clean

 Kai has also been doing noticeably better at playing by himself and not having to follow me from room to room.  Now I'm not saying that he doesn't still follow me A LOT, just that it is getting better.  I've had my toes stepped on more in the last six months than ever before in my life and yesterday he was following me so close that when I stopped he ran into the back of me and flew backwards onto his bottom. HA  But I'll take progress and I have heard from others moms that there first child was like that too. 

 Kai on his"motorcycle"

 Other progress that Kai is making is he is now very good at riding a tricycle!  At first his legs were just so weak, he had no strength in them, he just couldn't push hard enough to peddle.  NO more!  He loves his trike I just wish we had a nicer and safer place for him to ride it.  Steering and concentration could use a little more practice but he gets by:)  He also used to have no interest in playing or interacting with children his age at all.  It was beginning to concern us, he would play with older kids or adults that would humor him and do what he told them to do, but a peer held no interest.  Well about three weeks ago he made friends with our little neighbor boy, they are so cute together I just can't stand it!  Since then he has shown more interest in other kids and does very well with sharing so far. 

finally getting some outside toys!

 Last week he played in his new sandbox by himself while I gardened for quite a while, I was so impressed!  Outside was especially bad for clinging and not wanting to play.  He did come over after about 30 minutes and did a very good job helping me plant beans.  He is really into helping right now and is so proud of himself after he does.  If I sweep the floor, he gets his little broom and sweeps too, if I vacuum, he gets his golf caddy and pretends its a vacuum and helps me, he even helps clean the toilet if I let him!

loving his sandbox!

finally getting his rowboat ride:)

 Kai is into rowboats right now, he has been begging for a boat ride for a while, last weekend he finally got his wish!  He also likes to fish but really isn't fit to have a real hook as it is flying everywhere the whole time!  His favorite show is Dora and they talk a lot about boats, and life jackets.  They also talk about wearing your seat belt so he has been known to remind folks to buckle up! ha!

ready for a picnic under the "brella"

 Language has improved so much it's crazy!  I notice a difference every week.  I once said that I don't care if he talks nonstop I just want him to speak English so bad.   Guess what?  I got my wish!  Seriously the kid never shuts up, he talks and talks and talks.  He talks about anything he sees or what ever pops into his head.  The Chinese has been long gone for a while now actually.  I really don't mind him talking as long as he isn't repeating the same thing over and over again. lol  He can now sing his favorite song in English, twinkle twinkle little star.  Before he sang it in his own made up language.  He can count to 12, and say his ABC's.  He is beginning to identify letters but just barely.  He is doing better with colors but still doesn't always get them right.  He knows how to write his name in his head, but just can't get his hand to do what he wants it to do. 

spending time with Great Grandma Smith!

 Another thing I noticed is that his attention span is a lot longer than what it used to be and he is getting better at using his imagination.  It used to be if I gave him play dough, he would just look at it, he didn't know what to make or how to make it.  He would maybe squish it around for about 5 minutes and then say all done.  I finally stopped giving it to him because he just didn't really like it.  Today I tried it again.  He played and played and made everything from a snake to french fries.  He was pretending and doing what I showed him to do.  It was so great to see him pretending and playing and talking to himself!

Just look at that form! Future Hiland Hawk:)))

Sports are also becoming more interesting to our little guy.  He's been asking for a soccer ball which he got yesterday and really likes his basketball hoop from Great Grandma Smith as well as baseball and golf.  This is quite hilarious as neither Reuben or I are into sports at all!  I do my best to play anyway, he doesn't know how bad I am at it:)  Other things Kai loves- firetrucks, pick-ups, trains, troll bridges, tunnels, semi's, teasing our elderly dogs, going to Gramma Cindy's, eating chips, watching TV in Mommy and Daddy's bed, playgrounds, ice cream, going bye-bye, suckers, gummy bears, drinking large amounts of water before bedtime, school buses, and rainbows.  The list really does go on.  He loves everything about life.  Even if he is in trouble I have to tell him to stop smiling.  He has been a little more naughty lately, probably due to his new found Independence.  He has also been eating a little better lately too.  He is just such a hoot.  We really enjoy him and so does everyone else.  What a little blesssing:)

A growing boy!

 I thought I would post a few more of the pictures we had taken of Kai.  I didn't really have any others that where blog worthy, I guess I'm slacking:)  Actually what I really wanted everyone to see is how much Kai has grown!  The pants he wore in these pictures are way too short these days, sometimes I can't believe how big he is when I look at him.  When Kai came home from China probably the biggest thing we where concerned about other than the obvious was his complexion.  In all the pictures we got from China we noticed he seemed to have zits on his face.  We thought this very weird for a two year old and where a little concerned there might be something underlying wrong with him.  Our Doctor wasn't too concerned so we just let it go but when we got him he had at least three or four hug zits on his face!  However with regular bathing and good nutrition we are happy to say he is zit free for the most part! 

 

 Another thing we noticed right away was how thin and dull looking his hair was.  I started him on flax oil and cod liver oil right away and now his hair is full and shiny and grows way too fast as do his finger nails and toe nails!  His skin is still pretty dry so he gets slathered in coconut oil from head to toe every night, it used to be his legs where very thin and flabby with no muscle tone at all, now  they are solid and very muscular, Kai has still only gained around 2 pounds or so:(

 In other Kai has been sleeping like a champ!  He is doing very well as far as potty training goes all except for night time.  I think back when I made the comment that he is so much more like a baby than I expected and he really was, not anymore!  I am so thankful that we did have that short period of time to experience that part of his life.  He has come so far in the short time he's been with us but every once in a while, when I am around a group of children his age, I get a reminder that he really is behind in some ways, he is so much more afraid than other children, so much more unsure, this is to be expected.  He also seems pretty anti-social when it comes to kids his age but is overly bossy and pushy with older kids and especially adults.  Sometimes it worries me but I try to just remember that this is all new to him. 

We have been working on a lot of things at our house, colors, numbers, letters, language, and obedience.  Kai being a lefty has proven to be quite annoying. ha He just doesn't seem interested in colors and gets them wrong every time.  I can tell him what color something is and ask him again thirty seconds later and he will not remember.  I wonder sometimes if he is just being stubborn because he most definitely does not have a memory problem!  Also letters and numbers, he is very interested in saying them but writing them or identifying them is impossible!  I tell myself all I can do is try to teach him and the rest is up to him.

Kai can still be a momma baby quite a bit but Reuben is awesome at working at their relationship and I know one day I will be kicked to the curb!  All in all I think things are going very well, Kai is a very affectionate little boy and has started occasionally saying I love you or kissing unprovoked!  He is very well behaved for the most part but does struggle with control issues, there is still a bit of a language barrier so explaining things is still hard at times.  I never know if he truly doesn't understand or is just acting like he doesn't.  Stay tuned for more "Kai" coming soon!  I'm so excited for this summer and all the firsts we get to experience:)

Four Months Forever

Hard to believe four months ago today we met our son for the first time.  I can't believe it's really been that long!  I'm not gonna lie, the last four months have been the hardest thing I've ever done.  After 32 years on this earth, and twelve years of marriage, the rug was literally  pulled out from beneath me and every"normal" I ever had was gone.  I mourned the loss of it so hard.   But it's been so worth it and I'm happy to say our new normal has arrived and it's so much better than the old one!  We are so in love with our little blessing and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for our family!

Spring is on its way:)

a little pre-photo shoot posing

 Hello all! I thought I'd post a few pics and some insights into what Mr. is up to and into these days.

 

peep peep!  Helping Mom get ready for Easter

Well we are really excited for Easter!  It's so fun having a little one around at holidays but we are also excited because my Grandma and Grandpa will be coming home from Florida and our relatives from Missouri are all coming in to meet KAI!  I know he is gonna love them all.  Kai enjoyed watching and helping me get the spring/summer decor out of the attic.  I just happened to have those little chicks and a couple things my mom had gotten us for our "daughter" (or so we thought at the time).
They were fine for Kai too so he played while I decorated.

A little sensory stim with split peas, what a mess! 

 I gave these split peas to Kai to play with also, I use them around my candles and stuff.  By the time he was done there was a LITTLE mess on the floor and that sucker was covered in split peas! lol

Posing with his new picture board and favorite picture:)

 My Mom and I went to the kids sale at valley view church and one of the things he got was this frog picture board.  He loves it, he loves pictures, and most of all he loves his Uncle Travis and Aunt Jamie.  He asks for them daily, and sometimes gets a little demanding chanting their names and jumping up and down:)

Helping Drew go night night, Adam of course was "above" being a part of such nonsense

And best of all under the covers with Drew:)

Kai had been really into putting his stuffed animals "night,night" and  Byohing them.  Not sure how to spell byoh???  ( Rocking)  He really likes Drew since he tends to be more of a "joiner" than Adam.  lol  Things Kai is into:  Kai-lan(of course), Dora, playgrounds, Buses, Semis, eating meat, imitating everything( good and bad).  He is so smart and he is really intrigued with going to church, he started imitating things he sees there and talking about Jesus at times!  It's an awesome and incredible feeling to introduce your child to Jesus and try to get him to understand as much as he can.  I hope his interest keeps growing!  Well lots to do today, until next time!