Settling in

Well we have been living in our new house for over a week now!  Needless to say we love it:)  There are certain things to get used to, for one, the open concept.  Seriously sound carries so bad in our house, looking back we should've probably done some insulating on the inside walls.  Secondly I have very little storage!  I know right, what kind of person builds a house without lots of storage?  We did.  Other than that and the lack of grass and abundance of mud with a dog who needs to go potty and come back in we are doing great.  Kai can't quit saying that he loves his playroom and is glad to have his toys back.  I hope he continues to play in there as nicely as he has been.  Every time I say we are going home he asks me if we are going to the new house and then when I tell him we are he cheers and says he is " so cited!" (excited).  He has been sleeping very nicely in his new room too.  The first night as I was tucking him in he didn't appear scared at all so I asked him if he was.  He said " No Mommy I not scared , if I wake up I will just come to your room!"  Of course, Lol.  But he hasn't, not even once so far.  It is a little bit of a bummer to not have any outdoor space to have a little pool or let him have a sprinkler but he spends a lot of time outside at his grammas so that helps.  Drew has been oh so naughty.  We had intentions of leaving him in the basement while we are at work but he proceeded to pee a few rivers down there so for lack of a better place he gets to spend the day in the bathroom.  For some reason he has gotten in the shower a few times and left dirty paw prints.  He also will not do his business in the dirt, only grass.  Also he won't do it on a leash and thinks he can't walk around while tied up, not to mention he can't seem to learn how to use the steps in and out of the house.  He has definitely been way more of a challenge than Kai.
  We are settled on the surface but there are still lots of boxes in the basement and garage that need to be organised.  Reuben is working on building some shelves and storage in the garage and then he will in the basement too so until I have a place to put things I just kinda let things go.
  Kai is growing up so fast, he is seriously such a big kid, he can get dressed by himself, brush his teeth with minimal assistance and mostly make his bed by himself too!  He can get himself water out of the fridge door and wash his hands alone.
  On another interesting note we think that he is starting to remember things about China that he didn't before.  That or he is just better at putting his memories into words.  Before if we brought up anything about China he would sort of change the subject or act like he didn't know what we where talking about.  He has a book about Chinese adoption and has been wanting me to read it to him a few times a week.  While reading it he has brought up what he was wearing when he came to us, asking where certain items are and seeming very sad when I told him they are too small for him to wear now, he hasn't seen the clothing and we haven't said anything about it to him so I know he remembers.  I asked him if he remembers when Mommy and Daddy came to get him and he said "yes, you had a lot of papers"  seriously I got goosebumps when he said that!  Kai also has never answered to his Chinese name.  Even in China he didn't even blink and eye if we said his Chinese name.  The other night I asked him if he remembers what his name was before it was Kai.  He thought a little bit and said "baby?'.  I said no it was Peng Peng.  He whipped his head around and looked at me with wide eyes and after a moment or two giggled a little bit, it was the first response ever and it was over that quick and he was moving on. After he was in bed I was in the living room telling Reuben about the things he has been saying when he starting yelling for Daddy.  Reuben came back a few minutes later looking like he had seen a ghost.  I asked what he wanted and Reuben said "he called me BaBa"(Chinese for Daddy).  We are very excited that he is remembering things he previously suppressed and we feel like it is a good step toward healing for him. 

 

at our house we celebrate st. patty's day year round:)

Gramma Smith spent the day at our new house helping me can green beans

eating watermelon for breakfast at the bar

A visit from Uncle Travis, he loves getting his picture taken!

somebody loves him some Aunt Jamie

This and that

It seems like I'm always taking pictures. 

Kai with one of his "favorite girls" Brittany

But somehow I always end up with a ton of weird selfies of Kai and I.

                                             Maybe I should take a photography class...

One of Kai's favorite things to do is to jump into bed with us on Sunday mornings

This summer has been kind of different with everything that's going on.  I have definitely seen some major blessings through it all.  For instance, I have no outdoor work this summer which has freed me up to spend more time with Kai.  Also Reuben has been pretty much out of the equation as for as being around goes, which in itself is a bad thing but has really helped me to focus more on Kai.  We have had so many good times together!  We have picnicked and played on playgrounds and just laughed and played and hung out together more this summer than ever before.

Another favorite is Mommy reading books in bed.

 This past weekend was our annual Raber Campout, it honestly was the highlight of my summers as a kid.  Even though Kai didn't have anyone remotely close to his age to play with it was so awesome to see him having a blast and stretching his wings.  He was so independent that at one point I sat on the blanket with him to feed him a banana split and he cockily said " Mommy, why are you sitting here?"  As if I was cool enough to hang out with him and his "Girls".  Oh yes the teenage/twenty something girls totally stepped up to entertain him and let him boss them around.  He was in heaven!  I also enjoyed having the freedom to let him just run and not have to be hovering over him or have him clinging to my leg. That combined with the awesome weather made for a very memorable weekend. At one point he said "Mommy, I love my family"  The gravity of that statement was not lost on me.

Clowning around Red Foo style in our neon colors and shades

 He is so affectionate and still gets that excited open mouthed grin when you ask him for a hug.  He recently has really taken to complementing me,  It cracks me up.  One day, while staring into my face he said " Mommy, I like your rainbow hair, and your cheeks, and your forehead, and your rainbow eyebrows!" A couple days ago he was barely awake in the morning and he said "Mommy, I like your legs, I like your whole body!" I thought to myself ,well I'm glad someone does! HA  He also told me that I look like Kate Gosselin, not so sure if I was thrilled about that compliment:)  .  I didn't tell those things to brag, it just makes me realize that he is just so darn glad to have a Mommy, and he is going to have a lucky wife someday!

Isn't he a cute girl??? lol

 He is also mouthy, oooooh is he mouthy, seriously this kid is 4 going on 14.  He has discovered the meaning of 'why', and is asking why a million times a day.  While it can get old, I realize it is a normal phase.  He is still having some eating issues, he is just so picky and gags so easily, we just take it one day at a time and do our best to get him to try new things. 

Finally worn out after a weekend of fun at the 40 Acres

We are so ready to move, four more sleeps and we will be in our new house!  Kai is so excited and so far we have seen minimal insecurity and behaviors happening.  The first few nights should be interesting but I think he will do fine in his new room.  As a whole I would say that things are pretty great for us right now.
     This is a little personal, but I need to say it, one of the things I really struggle with as a parent is self doubt, and guilt, and just feeling like I just might be screwing this child up for good. I mean I reeeaaaally struggle with it.  The other night in the middle of the night I looked through all the pictures on my phone,and in my foggy half sleeping state, it was like I was seeing them for the first time.  I saw them almost as if I was looking at them through Kai's eyes, and I realized something.  I am not not perfect, I mess up, I get grouchy sometimes, I might be a little strict at times , BUT my son is happy, I mean deliriously happy.  He loves me, he likes me, and I am the center of his world. So this is me saying something that is very hard for me to say and even believe, I am a good mom....