Four Months Forever

Hard to believe four months ago today we met our son for the first time.  I can't believe it's really been that long!  I'm not gonna lie, the last four months have been the hardest thing I've ever done.  After 32 years on this earth, and twelve years of marriage, the rug was literally  pulled out from beneath me and every"normal" I ever had was gone.  I mourned the loss of it so hard.   But it's been so worth it and I'm happy to say our new normal has arrived and it's so much better than the old one!  We are so in love with our little blessing and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for our family!

Spring is on its way:)

a little pre-photo shoot posing

 Hello all! I thought I'd post a few pics and some insights into what Mr. is up to and into these days.

 

peep peep!  Helping Mom get ready for Easter

Well we are really excited for Easter!  It's so fun having a little one around at holidays but we are also excited because my Grandma and Grandpa will be coming home from Florida and our relatives from Missouri are all coming in to meet KAI!  I know he is gonna love them all.  Kai enjoyed watching and helping me get the spring/summer decor out of the attic.  I just happened to have those little chicks and a couple things my mom had gotten us for our "daughter" (or so we thought at the time).
They were fine for Kai too so he played while I decorated.

A little sensory stim with split peas, what a mess! 

 I gave these split peas to Kai to play with also, I use them around my candles and stuff.  By the time he was done there was a LITTLE mess on the floor and that sucker was covered in split peas! lol

Posing with his new picture board and favorite picture:)

 My Mom and I went to the kids sale at valley view church and one of the things he got was this frog picture board.  He loves it, he loves pictures, and most of all he loves his Uncle Travis and Aunt Jamie.  He asks for them daily, and sometimes gets a little demanding chanting their names and jumping up and down:)

Helping Drew go night night, Adam of course was "above" being a part of such nonsense

And best of all under the covers with Drew:)

Kai had been really into putting his stuffed animals "night,night" and  Byohing them.  Not sure how to spell byoh???  ( Rocking)  He really likes Drew since he tends to be more of a "joiner" than Adam.  lol  Things Kai is into:  Kai-lan(of course), Dora, playgrounds, Buses, Semis, eating meat, imitating everything( good and bad).  He is so smart and he is really intrigued with going to church, he started imitating things he sees there and talking about Jesus at times!  It's an awesome and incredible feeling to introduce your child to Jesus and try to get him to understand as much as he can.  I hope his interest keeps growing!  Well lots to do today, until next time!

Big boy pants...

A baseball hat like Daddy!

             Hello everyone, I'm sure you all are getting spring fever as much as we are!  Poor Kai probably thinks his new home will never be warm and sunny.  We have just been moseying along.  Nothing really exciting or momentous.  I told Reuben the other day that I kind of feel like all the huge initial progress things are sorta over and we are going to get used to celebrating the small things. Like for example one of the things I'm  very used to with working in health care and with developmentally disabled people is giving choices.  This was always stressed so much and I love the concept.  Our social worker too has mentioned letting Kai control the things that aren't a big deal so he won't feel the need to control things we don't want him to.  Problem is, I don't know if it's the language barrier or if the notion of actually being given a choice is just so foreign but Kai will not choose between two things. ME- Kai, do you want milk or water?? KAI- Milk or water.  ME- No but do you want MILK or WATER??  KAI- Milk or water.  UGHHH!  Its kind of frustrating.  But this is one of those little things.  The other night I asked him at a restaurant if he wanted chicken or a hot dog.  He said " hot dog"  Wow!  I could have cheered.  Much easier than me guessing and him not eating it:) Today choice making was not as great but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

No caption needed:)

 Probably the biggest thing that has happened at the Miller house is pictured above.  Yes Kai is officially potty trained!  The reason it is not considered momentous is simply because it was incredibly easy!  Day one we had two accidents.  Day two one accident.  And none since.  I'm really not that good, I chalk it up to him being trained before, and regressing.  He still wears a diaper at night and naps, I'm not going to push that because I don't even want to consider waking him up in the night to go potty and having to try to get him back to sleep in his own bed. I know, selfish:)  Speaking of his own bed he has been doing pretty good with it.  We had a few nights of crying here and there but as of now things are going pretty well.

Kai loves to help Momma in the kitchen!  He has a mouthful of our healthy raw cookies

I told Reuben that this spring he is going to have to make it a point to do some manly things with Kai.  It makes me laugh how at the tender age of three he has no concept of gender specific things.  His favorite color seems to be pink.  yep.  He carries around a pink rhino.  Picks out pink balls etc.  He loves to help momma do whatever momma does.  I threw around the idea of getting him an apron but then thought, you know somethings I just wanna save for a daughter:)  So in general things are going well.  We have been home for three months now.  I do feel like the last couple weeks he was struggling somehow emotionally, the crying at night, seeming a little more grouchy at home and at Grandma's house, maybe a tad dramatic.  Nothing severe, just a little something under the surface.  Maybe the finality of it all hit him?  I was thinking that we really haven't had him that long at all, and then I though about when I was a kid, summer vacation was less than three months long.  And it lasted FOREVER!  Time went so much slower.  So to Kai, it probably seems like he has been with us such a long time, I like that.  I still struggle some days, patience doesn't come naturally to me.  I'm still adjusting, I still feel like I'm playing house at times.  But time heals everything, and with God's help I know I can do better and better to be the Mom this little guy deserves!

Life...

  Sorry Guys no pictures today since I'm posting from work but I just wanted to just let everyone one know how Kai is doing!  Well wednesday of last week he ended up with the stomach flu, ya no fun at all.  The poor guy felt horrible but I'm happy to say he is a very responsible puker:)  Awesome for me as many of you know I have a puke phobia like no other.  It took several days for the fever to leave but we are back to good health now days.  Kai really just continues to amaze me with his adaptability.  I feel like sometimes Reuben and I maybe baby him to much or limit him in areas that maybe WE are afraid of or don't "think" he will be able to do something.  But then I think, you know what he deserves to be babied just a little bit.  He didn't have that in his life.  We recently came across some pictures online of him in the orphanage that we didn't see before, pictures of him playing with people from a company who came as a charity thing to the orphanage to play with the children and donate shoes.  That really struck me.  How soon I forget that he was an "orphan" , that he was in need of charity, donations, and attention from anyone who would give it to him.  It's hard for me to think of the little boy snug in his bed, a room full of toys, a closet full of clothes, who eats organic food everyday, and is so loved by family and friends as a child in an orphanage half way around the world. How soon he feels like MY child.  What an emotional journey this has been, harder than I ever imagined by far, and it's just beginning.  Kai is just learning so many new things.  New favorite words, semi, bus, uh oh, OUCH, nope, nope, nope, hey you, and Kai-lan.  He has started imitating the dogs, crawling around, pawing at my legs and making every noise they do.  He is serious about it too, no laughing, no talking, duh, dogs don't laugh or talk.  He still loves his bath and loves his "show" Kai-lan.  He can help a lot in dressing himself and I think he could actually do it himself but he is so headstrong.  This is the biggy though.  Guess who has slept in his own room, in his own bed, all the way through the night with not even a whimper??  Yep, my boy:)  I am so thrilled!  This is one of those things that I think Reuben and I where more scared of than he was.  He truly loves going to Grandma's house while I'm at work and was very ready to go yesterday after being cooped up in the house sick for four or five days.  New things we are planning on working on:  Continue with manners(does anyone know my husband?  I think I'll work on his too. ha), language, and POTTY TRAINING!  We where assured over and over in China that he is toilet trained yet he is not.  That is why we want to work on it soon, We feel like he really does know when he has to go but due to the trauma of everything has just regressed a little, ok a lot in that department.  So we just keep at it and I see big boy undies in Kai's near future!  Please just keep praying for our adjustment, kai's, but ours too.  This is one of those things that is new everyday, and everyday is a journey in itself:)

Weekend trips and Birthday Fun:D

Ready for his first trip to Wilmington!

First time eating ice cream and liking it!  He ate the whole bowl:)

Mr. Popular:)

Kai had to be close to his new friend Addy

Kai and his new friend!

First nap in his own room!  What a big boy

Birthday morning balloons in the bed!

Those things didn't leave his side all morning.

Kai posing with his new kitchen!

Party time at Grandma's House!

Uncle Travis and his crew getting into the party spirit

Even Grandpa is Rockin' the ears!

He really isn't picking his nose I promise:)

Kai's "horsey" cake from Litty's

Why is frosting so much better than cake??

Birthday Rockstar!

I know this is a lot of pictures to look at but believe me I scaled it down big time!  So to start with last weekend we went down to Wilmington with Kai for the first time.  For those of you who don't know Wilmington is a town just north of Cincinnati where Reuben and I used to live.  We have dear, dear friends who still live there.  These folks are really just those rare people you meet in your life that you know you could never forget and they will always have such a special place in our hearts.  Our Family away from home:)  Kai had such a good time getting to know the children and we did some much needed catching up!  It was also the longest car ride he has been on and he did wonderful! 
  This Saturday the 26th was Kai's 3rd Birthday.  I think he had a pretty amazing day!  It also started with the balloons in bed, a Birthday breakfast at Grandma's restaurant in Mt Eaton, and then a short nap followed by play time with the new kitchen we got him.  Later we all went to dinner at the Chinese Buffet where he always gets tons of attention from the waitresses.  They brought him a "cake" which consisted of some mandarin oranges and whip cream and half a banana with a candle stuck in it.  Seriously that just says it all about the difference between the Asian diet and big fat America:)  It was then off to Grandma's for a Mickey Mouse themed party with tons of presents and a horsey cake.  Best. Day. Ever.  Among his favorite gifts was the puppy guitar.  He has been imitating guitar playing lately so we thought he would like it.  Lets just say playing that thing is no laughing matter, it is serious business!  So funny:) 
  So other than partying hardy Kai has been spending his days soaking it all in, he really likes going to Grandma's house and playing with his cousins, he comes home wound up every night!  He is saying a lot more English words- horsey, buggy, ouch, brrr cold, all gone, see ya, car, semi, truck, kitty and the list goes on.  He seems to understand A LOT.  He can count to 5 in English unprovoked, knows basic colors, all his body parts and many animal names and sounds.  I am just so ready for him to speak lots and lots of English, I know I will probably regret saying that:)  So right now we are just chugging along living life, goals for the near future are still working towards getting him in his own room, working on manners and language skills.  He is doing so well, we are so pleased and feel so blessed to have such a super kid.  I'm starting to sound like a bragging Mom. Ha.  Hopefully a pediatric ortho surg appointment coming soon and I will let ya'll know how that goes! 

Akron Childrens Apointment

Well today has been a looooong day!  We had an appointment up at Akron Childrens Hospital in The Oak Adoptive Health office.  It was a three hour long appointment where we spent one hour with a developmental specialist, one hour with the doctor, and one hour with an adoption counselor.  Everything went very well,  the developmental lady was very impressed with our boys skillz. lol  He is pretty much on target in every area except those involving language of course.  She said that the next time she sees us in 4-6 months she expects he will have pretty much totally lost his knowledge of the Chinese language!  To me it's bitter sweet to think of that, in one way I can't wait until that day but on the other hand I think it will be kinda sad not listening to his babbling and Chinesy little accent, we've gotten so used to the way he communicates.  The lady also told us she would give us lots of ways to work with Kai as far as motor skills, language and balance.  He also struggles a little bit with his problem solving skills, for instance, if he is doing a puzzle and can't get the piece turned right he will just stop doing the puzzle or if he is playing with a toy and it doesn't do what he wants he will scream or whine at times.
   The medical doctor also said everything looked good, all his labs came back great and he has grown three centimeters since we where there about a month ago and gained only half a pound:(  We did find out that Kai has some kind of parasite roaming around in his gut but that will be taken care of with five days of meds.  Apparently about 25% of kids from China have it.  The crazy thing we found out was this, now bare with me, as this is a huge surprise.  At the time of Kai's referral the difference between the length of his legs was 6cm, in China they measured 5cm, today it was only 4cm!  Yes folks we are believing that God is beginning to heal our little one and ask you to pray pray pray that somehow that sucker can catch up and spare a child a very painful surgery!
  We also talked to the adoption counselor,  I told him about our slight concerns with Kai seeming to make such a sudden change in the way he acts with people other than us.  We described how he is way more social letting friends and family hold him pretty freely and going to the sitter with nary a tear, he said it sounds completely ok to him!  All in all we left that office almost glowing with all the positive things they had to say!  The next step is getting him on those parasite meds and into a pediatrician to get some vaccines and then to the pediatric orthopedic surgeon.  Lets hope the next four to six months bring lots and lots of progress and growth and that we can get to know each other even more and enjoy every minute:)

Christmas and the Latest

 

 Well this post is a little late but I guess that's better than never:)  It just never seems like a good time to try and get on the computer.  Well anyway we had a good Christmas and New Year and I hope everyone else did too.  Christmas was a tad overwhelming for Kai but we got through it ok.  He got a little four wheeler, some tub toys, bowls, and a choo choo track from us and I wouldn't even know where to start on what he got from my family, they love Christmas and are very generous!  Kai has been making some more great progress, I have glimpses of times where I think he is acting like a regular kid.  It warms my heart when I can tell that Kai is totally content and happy with his world. We still are struggling with testing us a lot, we still have a lot of fears(footy pajamas???)  but we are seeing glimpses of a carefree little boy!  At times his lack of fear of strangers does scare us a little bit.  In a months time he went from not letting anyone but us hold him to at times letting ANYONE hold him, we are aware of it and are just cautiously optimistic that he is just being a kid.  We where told by the orphanage that he is an outgoing little guy so we hope that is just what we are seeing:)  Since the Holidays are over we are going to try and just kinda hibernate together for a while.  Today was my first day back to work and it felt SO GOOD!  I never thought I would say that! ha  It really did and I am really enjoying my time at home with my family tonight too.  Kai did just fine with Grandma Miller, no tears, he did look a little sad when I left but I think explaining it with Google Translate really did help.  Our next feat is getting Kai into his own room, I know they say not to push it but I really miss my room!  I also just think that Kai would actually sleep a lot better too, I mean I can't even sleep through Reuben's crazy loud snoring and I've had 12 years to get used to it!  That and with me going back to work and trying to get dressed and alarm clocks blaring it just makes more sense.  So maybe that will be my next post:)  Well blessings to all and keep those prayers coming, this adjustment has truly been monumental...